We Can Be Cakes

Daniel: Legendary Inside out Lamington Cupcake topped with Vanilla Buttercream and Pulsar Blue white Chocolate accompanied by a Chocolate Danthan Industries sign

Nathan: Legendary Inside out Lamington Cupcake topped with Milo Buttercream and a Milk Chocolate Beanie accompanied by a White Chocolate Middle Finger and Short Bread Sneaky Nuts

Based on Daniel and Nathan Sims from “We Can Be Heroes” and “Angry Boys”

Making cupcakes is faggy. But if you’re gonna make them, you should make these.

Being the best looking bloke in town, running a rural farm in Australia, donating his ear drum to his brother, driving the coolest Pulsar, and being heaps good at rapping it’s hard to believe Daniel didn’t win Australian Of The Year when he was nominated. So I reckon it made sense to use a popular Australian cake tweaked a bit for the Sims twins’ cupcakes. (Australians please don’t be mad!) Made from the same batter but topped with different ingredients, you’ll notice half the cupcakes are a bit more cheeky, sneaky, always doing weird shit, and 3% spastic. These cupcakes are the perfect dessert to serve at a legendary farewell party or eat while doing mainies.

Recipe Under the cut ya fags

Ingredients

For the Cake

2 cups flour

2 teaspoons baking powder

½ cup or 1 stick unsalted room temperature butter

¾ cup sugar

2 eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

½ milk

For the Filling

4 cups powdered sugar

1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder

3 tablespoons milk

2 cups coconut

For the Frosting

½ stick or ½ cup vegetable shortening

½ cup or 1 stick of butter

½ cup evaporated milk

1 cup or sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 teaspoon almond extract

For Nathan

4 tablespoons Milo powder (it pre-mixed Milo add 2 more tablespoon sugar to frosting mix)

It can be difficult to find in America so I had to use the premixed canned version.

For Danthan Industries Sign & Chocolate Beanie

1 bag milk chocolate chips

black gel frosting tube/pen (you can find these in the baking aisle with the sprinkles and liners)

For Middle Finger & Pulsar Blue White Chocolate Covering

1 bag White Chocolate Chips

2-4 tablespoons vegetable shortening

neon blue food coloring

For Sneaky Nuts

4-5 shortbread cookies

2-3 tablespoons butter

Directions:

Pre-heat your oven to 350F/177C and line your pan with cupcake liners. In a smaller bowl mix together your flour, baking powder, and salt. In a larger bowl beat your butter until soft. Add in your sugar and beat until nice and fluffy. Add in your eggs one at a time, beating after each time. Add the vanilla and beat again. Next, gradually add in the flour mixture and milk, alternating between the two. Make sure to scrape down the sides of the bowl often. Your batter will be nice and thick.

 Fill your cupcake liners and bake for 20 minutes. While these are cooking I reckon you could dam surf, pump some s.mouse while you do music mainies, free style rap while your brother beat boxes, or yell at him for pissing on the bottle shop sign.

After your cupcakes are cooled, using a butter knife cut a hole in the middle, going in through the top diagonally. Carefully pull the top out - it should be a cone shape - and cut a bit off the bottom of the cone part. It’s now ready to be filled.

To make the filling you’re going to use the double boiler method. Heat a pot full of water on your stovetop. While you’re waiting for that to heat place you powdered sugar, cocoa powder, butter, and milk in a heat-proof glass or metal bowl. (If you’re going to use metal make sure you wear an oven mitt.) Place the bowl over the pot of simmering water and stir until well-mixed and well-melted. Add coconut. You’re going to want to hold off on making this until your cupcakes and cooled and ready to be filled. To fill them take the tops off carefully, spoon some mixture into the hole, and replace the top.

To make the frosting cream your vegetable shortening and butter until fluffy. Add in the sugar and beat again. Next, add the vanilla extract, almond extract, and evaporated milk and beat until well mixed.

 If you’re a dickhead like Nathan and want Milo frosting (he is always drinking that faggy stuff) take half your frosting and put into a separate bowl. Beat in the Milo. Next, using a pastry bag, plastic bag with the corner cut off, or a spatula frost have the cupcake with the vanilla buttercream and half with the Milo buttercream. Place in the fridge to harden up the frosting. Use this time to tell Steve what a fag Fuckos is. Only fag dogs wiggle their butt when they walk and have their balls sticking out like that.

After the frosting on the cupcakes has harden it’s time to melt your chocolate. You can use the double boiler method like you did on the filling or microwave it on 50% power for 20 seconds at a time, stirring in between each time. For the white chocolate add a couple tablespoons or vegetable shortening to the chocolate chip before you melt. This will make it creamier and melt easier. Add additional vegetable shortening if you are still having trouble with it melting. Melted chocolate makes a great dinner when Mom and Steve go out of town and leave you in charge.

To make the Danthan Industries sign pour a bit of the melted chocolate into a plastic baggie a cut a small piece of the corner off. On wax paper, pipe out a long board-shaped rectangle. Stick in the fridge to cool for at least an hour. Once cooled, using a gel frosting tube/pen write DANTHAN INDUSTRIES on each sign and stick back into the fridge until ready to use.

To make the middle fingers pour a bit of the white chocolate into a plastic baggie and cut a small piece of the corner off. Pipe the middle fingers out on some wax paper. Don’t worry about them looking perfect it may take a couple tries. Place in the fridge to cool until you are ready to use.

For the Pulsar blue white chocolate and milk chocolate beanie topping using the blue food coloring tint your white chocolate until you get the right shade of the Pulsie. Divide the cupcakes in half. Quickly dip the tops of the first half in the white chocolate. You may need to tilt your bowl and dip them in. Or if it’s easier spoon the chocolate over the top. Just make sure you do it fast or the frosting will start to melt. Using the exact same method dip the tops of the other cupcakes in the milk chocolate. Place in the fridge to cool.

To make the sneaky nuts take 4 shortbread cookies (any light colored cookie will do really) and crush into a fine crumble. Melt your butter and mix in your cookie crumbles.

 You want the consistency to be pliable. You should be able to press the mixture into little balls. Depending on the size of your cookies you may need to add more butter 1 tablespoon at a time. Roll and press into little ball and cool in the fridge.

To assemble place the Danthan Industries sign on top on of or next to the Daniel cupcakes. These are obviously the best looking cupcakes in town, sort of the core cakes in town, better than Nathans cupcakes in a lot of ways. For the Nathan cupcakes peel back a small part of the cupcake liner and place two of the sneaky nut cookie balls in. Place the middle finger on top or next to the cake. These are piss funny! They also attract a lot of girls, girls love handicap guys. And it should be noted, a little bit retarded.

Suggested Listening While baking:

Anything by S.Mouse (legendary rapper)

Chase Baker “I’m So Brooklyn”

Daniel and Nathan “Bedroom Rap”

Daniel and Nathan “Wedding Rap”

*Wall of Legends Graphic taken from the Angry Boys facebook page which can be found here http://www.facebook.com/AngryBoysHBO *